The Product of a Cold Case
by S.carlett V.on U.ttenburg
Summary: Elliot and Olivia's personal side revealed through the eyes of their only child.  A lighthearted tale of crime busting lovers.  Twists, smut, and silliness.


**AN: This story purely stands on it's own, but it was inspired by "Why We Had To Kill Kathy." I hope to make it more humorous. There are some funny ideas that I have in mind, but at the moment it's very "My Girl" esc. _  
_**

**Also- How about that Season 9 Premiere episode !!!! AHHHHH! AH-Mazing! Okay, I'm gonna talk about my favorite parts for my Australian friends who wanted an update. So if you haven't seen it and you don't want to know- Skip the rest of this AN. **

**Highlight of the evening Cynthia Nixon! Not only is she brilliant, but the best part of the episode is when Cynthia Nixon's character totally bashed Kathy! ANd OH OH- did anybody notice the hint of jealousy in Kathy's eyes when Cynthia flirted with Elliot. Kathy is such an insecure tergid! But really- How sweet was that scene?! The commercials made it look like Kathy was going to be all in the scene and Elliot was going to save her or she could have even possibly been heroic. This scene coudl have really saved Kathy's character from being a waste of space, and than Elliot gets rid of her ass!!! YES! That line by Cynthia was priceless, too "Well, I guess we know who he really wants." or something like that. She's referring to herself, but I like to say that it was a subliminal message to Olivia! Ha HA! And then Liv comes in and saves Elliot's ass!! YEAH- Let's see Kathy do that shit! Way to be the better woman in teh scene Olivia!!! Ow, and then Cynthia states to Kathy "She's kinda fat." LOLOLOL AHHHHAHAHAHH! I am so evil! I know, she's pregnant, but it was funny fools. And the woman playing Kathy has got to be the worst actor ever. Am I the only one who thinks that? Even if I could like the character of Kathy, it would be almost impossible, because the actress craps all over the place. Good God- how the hell is she working!? If I were her, I'd be taking classes non-stop to get better. Mariska and Chris do. They have coaches. Kathy spend some money HOE, get a frigg'n acting coach already. I do not want to watch a bad actress have a baby. She better get her acting chops in shape before that episode, cause I can't handle it! Also, the Munch stuff was AWESOME! But the only thing I have to say about it is- why put him in Don's position to only take it away from him at the end of the episode? I wanted to see him do that for a couple of episodes. But I love Munch, so maybe I'm tainted.**

**Ok read my shiznat!**

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**Parental Units**

_A tall woman with short brown hair and bright blue eyes walks into the Sergeant's office at the 1-6 Precinct. The room is empty. She is in a skirt suit and she looks around the room with a familiar smile. Elliot Stabler is written on the glass door and she lightly touches it then walks to the desk and sits in the leather seat. On the wall next to her is a sign that reads ", while sliding down the banister of life watch you don't run into splinters."_

You sure weren't kidding about that, were you Daddy.

_She smiles and fingers the cotton poking through a hole in the leather on the arm of the chair. After a moment of thought her eyes look up from the chair and stop on a photo sitting on the bookshelf near the window._

That's my father.

_She nods and the photo comes into view. Elliot's hard features become clear as he stands in his uniform. His right hand is placed on the bible as he swears into his new position for the first time._

Isn't he handsome? You'll never meet a better man. He always had good advice for me, even if I didn't want to hear it. And quotes. The man loved old quotes. The one on the wall there that was his favorite. 'Careful Maddy, what'd I tell you about those splinters.'

At the time it served more as an annoyance than an uplifting tip. He'd sit next to me with that playful grin on his face and pretend that my problems were a significant issue in the world today.

**FLASH BACK**

_Elliot Stabler throws his newspaper to the side and puts his arm around a skinny young girl with long brown hair and bright blue eyes._ "Maddy, sweetheart, you'll never get past the negative without a little honey."

Again with the fatherphors. That's what I liked to call them. I'd just gotten suspended for hitting a girl in school. I cried all the way home and when I was greeted by my father at the front door of our house; I thought my ass was toast. But his bellowing voice remained calm and understanding. He even gave me a hug and a glass of milk…before grounding me anyway. To this day I still think my mother coached him.

"I realize you were fighting for the Lord, but that's not exactly what he meant by fight. You also have to take into consideration that your friend may have been offended by your remark towards her religion. Not everyone grows up in a Catholic household."

"But Daddy, she's a good friend and she's only Jewish because of a stupid boy. She wasn't born that way."

"Well, whatever the cause, that's between her and god. Live by example, Maddy, not force."

"That's very Unitarian of you, Dad."

Elliot's bottom lip pushed forward in a half deviant half defeated pout. Before Madeline could duck and cover Elliot dipped his finger in her milk and flicked it in her direction. "Wise guy. Now get to your room, please."

Sometimes when I hear the stories about Maureen and Kathleen's punishments, I feel lucky to know that I got the better half of his life. But there's no need to tell them that. They had the best childhood he could give them at the time and they turned out pretty darn good regardless.

While my father took the passive parenting route, my mother, on the other hand, was new to the whole thing. And god love her, she was a wonderful woman, but her methods were grandiose. Where as most moms baked cookies and cleaned your laundry, my mother, made me do everything with her as a reminder that every moment has importance. It was her cute way of spending time with me. I saw it more as an interruption from after school television. Her way of raising a child was hands on and filled with sweet aggression.

"Madeline, you're a smart young woman. Stand your ground and always have a fist full of facts. You don't have to use physical actions if you can talk your way out of it. Unless of course, you're being attacked and I give you full permission to use everything I've taught you. And Madeline, honey, never ever trust a boy. They were born with testosterone and have an incredible knack for the art of bullshit. Pardon my French. Which means, that they only have one agenda and it's not abstinence."

"Maaaaah!"

_A ten year old, Madeline, stands next to Olivia near a mirror in the hallway. She has a black book bag and sulks while shaking her head shamefully at her mothers rant. Olivia doesn't notice. She finishes applying her lipstick and turns for the kitchen._ "Oh, did you get your lunch? I wrote you a note on the napkin today. Picture and everything. Kiss me."

_Olivia hands a bagged lunch to her and kisses the girl repeatedly on the forehead, cheeks, and nose._

"Oh, Oh, me too," Elliot said as he walked past in his suite and tie.

Olivia touched his arm and he pulled her into a rich passionate good morning kiss.

Madeline turned away and whined ", Oewww, you guys are gross."

Olivia reached around for Madeline's head and lightly messed up her hair as she held Elliot's lips to hers. When they finally pulled apart she grabbed Madeline and hugged her relentlessly. "We're gross?! You should be lucky we still do such vile disgusting things. Most people our ages are miserable or divorced. No offense," she said towards Elliot.

He smiled through a mouthful of eggs. "None taken, my love."

"Okay, I'm leaving, before you two scar me for life," Madeline skulked as she headed for the front door.

"Give'm hell, tiger," Elliot shouted from the kitchen table.

"Tigress," Olivia corrected. "And Madeline, please turn your phone on as soon as school is over. And call me when you get to Greta's house."

"Alright. I will."

"And don't take any short cuts."

"I won't."

"Or except any rides from anyone other than Greta's parents."

"Mom!"

"I mean, it! Especially vans. Stay away from-"

"Olivia, let the girl go already."

Elliot pulled Olivia away from Madeline and they watched her head for the bus stop where several of the neighborhood kids were already gathering.

"Love you. Have fun," Olivia called.

Madeline covered her ears and stomped to the bus stop.

Sometimes I wish they'd had another child just to break the novelty away from my 'only child' position.

I will add that, growing up under the emotional spectrum of two professional sex crimes detective's was not easy. My parents were an adventure of highs and lows. They were either really cool or super protective, and you never knew which one you were going to get. Not to mention, they were both incredibly prepared. I knew more facts about self-defense and political historical outlooks than anyone in my school, and that was including the teachers. Heck, I knew about the birds and the bees before I even knew what kindergarten was.

_Madeline is four years old. Both Olivia and Elliot are squeezed into her tiny pink bed. She is under the blankets in her My Little Pony nightgown. Her brown hair is slightly lighter and soft ringlets fall around her head on the pillow. Olivia flips open a new book and Elliot grabs the other side as they both take turns reading. _

"You want to help mama read the body book, Maddy," Olivia smiles and points to the words. "Play and Find: The Human Body. This is your body."

Yes, my new book had pictures and puppets. The body was the coolest thing I'd ever read about as a four year old. Unaware of it at the time, my extra cautious parents had everything thoroughly planned and well rehearsed until the next day, when I added my own take to the bedtime story.

"Mrs. Stabler, I caught Madeline, doing something unexpected today in the playhouse during recess."

The mousy nun sat behind her desk and Olivia's brow creased with concern. She couldn't imagine what a four year old could possibly do that was so upsetting. "Yes," she replied.

"Well," the nun blushed. "She was…lifting her skirt and showing Michael Zanders her, and I quote ',vagina.'"

"Oh."

Olivia's face relaxed some. "Yes, Madeline and I recently had a discussion about the body. She was probably just excited to tell her friends. That's quite normal. I guess I should have been more clearer about keeping those types of things private."

"Yes, well, I understand that a child of her age doesn't comprehend the meaning of privacy, but when I looked over at Michael, who had no pants on, I was then astounded to find out that Madeline told him that being naked was a natural thing and that she had touched his…parts."

"Oh. Oh, my," Olivia mentally smacked herself for not explaining the privacy part of the private parts. "Sister Bettis, I do apologize. We were only trying to educate her as best as we could. I'm sure it was out of curiosity and nothing more. I will have a talk with her. I promise you, it will never happen again."

And that's when I learned all about the importance of underwear.

**Flash Backs are over.**

_The adult Madeline checks her watch and then falls slowly over the desk, taking in all of the knick-knacks, Elliot had collected over the years._

The office is unusually quiet tonight as I sit here. A picture of my mother, much younger, fell into my view. God I miss her. I miss her everyday since she took her last breath. The photo held that graceful carefree smile of hers for the entire world to see. I thought my father would never smile again, but he eventually found his sense of humor. Although nothing could make him laugh like she could. Just looking at her smile in the photo brought back the sound of it. It was evident why this was my father's favorite picture of her. She was radiant. She had a classic look of a model, yet she was warm, unlike many of the boney skeletal women you see in the magazines nowadays. Her soul poured out from her eyes. It was hard not to think of my mother alive, and by that I mean, full of bubbling life.

_Madeline picks the framed photo off of the desk._

This particular moment was taken on their wedding right outside the courthouse. She was about to throw the bouquet and somebody caught her bliss that now resides under the matted glass of the metal frame. Every time I see this picture I like to pretend that she is a beautiful movie star in the middle of a highlighted musical scene. The Orchestra erupts, doves fly over head, my father appears like a knight in shining armor and…

_Orchestra music loudly begins as Madeline imagines Elliot and Olivia on their wedding day. Olivia throws the bouquet and Elliot lifts her in his arms. Her simple beaded white dress spills over Elliot's arm and he very carefully places her into one of the horse drawn carriages from Central Park. The small crowd of close friends and family wave as they snuggle up together and ride through the sunset. Olivia holds onto Elliot. She is so overjoyed by the moment._

_(They sing "Happiness" from the Musical Passions. It's very melodramatic)_

**Olivia**

I'm so happy,

I'm afraid I'll die

Here in your arms

What would you do

If I died

Like this -

Right now,

Here in your arms?

**Elliot**  
I confess

It was the look --

**Olivia**

The look?

**Elliot**

The sadness in your eyes

**BOTH **

That day

When we glanced

At each other….

All this happiness

Merely from a glance

So much happiness

So much love --

**Elliot**

I thought I knew what love was

**Olivia**

I wish we might have met so much sooner

I could have given you --

**Elliot**

I thought I knew what love was

**Olivia**

-- My youth

**Elliot**

I thought I knew how much I could feel

**Olivia**

All the time we lost...

**Elliot**

I didn't know what love was.

**Olivia**

I've never known what love was.

**Elliot**

But now --

**Olivia**

And now --

**Both**

-- I do.

So much happiness --

_They reach towards each other and embrace in a long kiss. Then Olivia lets out a soft smile and leans comfortably into Elliot._

Yes, after all of the complaints to their public display of affection I still envisioned them as the classic lost lovers in a strange romantic film.

Oh, but where my parents found happiness they also ran into constant trouble. They were like the real life version of Scooby-Doo. They even had their own munchies.

**Flash to Elliot**

"My brain hurts. Coffee?"

"You read my mind," Olivia replies holding her head over a stack of documents.

Similtaniously they close their files and yell towards the open door as they start on a new stack of files ", MUNCH! Can you get us some sustenance in here?"

Munch goes to take a sip of his own coffee and spills it down his shirt. He grumbles to the coffee pot. "What do I look like the ice cream man? Stop me when I'm passing by? Sons of Bitches."

**Flask Over  
**

Over the years I learned to go with the flow of things. The stressful case loads and random hours. Most of this shouldnt' have bothered a child, but they included me in almost all of it. Like I was their own child detective. I should have sued them for too much child labor. After awhile I started to notice that I wasn't just along for the ride. I was part of the mechanics. I think I solved more cases with them then their actual unit did. I was constantly being tested with games and creative books, and I hardly ever had sleep overs. My childhood was interesting, but it sure wasn't normal. Little did I know that their twisted plots were only milestones compared to mine. And that's where my story really begins.

Like great stories, mine started in cold dirty loneliness. Very Cinderella of me, I know.

Unlike most children, I remember the day that I met my mother. It's the first full memory I remember having. I was three years old and living with a woman named Karine. Karine was my foster mother, but I vaguely recall living with her. Her saggy mean spirited face was nothing to memorize. In fact, sometimes I think those memories are things that my mind made up or maybe images of somebody else's memory. It wasn't that Karine was bad to me, she just wasn't very loving. She wasn't Olivia. Karine was a fat slob of a woman and the brief images I had of her always involved a grandfather clock and the sound of a screaming baby or child. I was never sure which. The day I saw Olivia, my mother, was the day my little mind came to life.

I was wondering around the playground near my house. I waddled around picking up tiny pebbles and throwing them. One pebble rolled across the spongy playground surface and landed at her feet. She smiled right at me and rolled the stone back.

Something about her made me gravitate in her direction. There was no question in my mind. I knew she was safe. Of course, I wasn't really the kind of child that frightened easily to begin with, but she was something I was compelled to be next to.

I picked up the pebble and walked over to her.

"Hi," she smiled.

Touching her hand I then dropped the pebble and returned her smile.

"Where's your mama?"

Without a word I looked around for Karine. When I didn't answer I noticed her look around too and I backed away starring in awe at the way she craned her neck and how the wind blew her perfect hair. She was wearing make up. Karine never wore make up.

She caught my movement and bent over towards me. "What's your name, little one?"

I had no idea but I knew it if I heard it. Speaking wasn't something that I did often at Karine's house.

A cool breeze began to push at my body and I shivered. She reached out to warm my arms and our embrace was stopped by the shrill sound of Karine's voice.

I was immediately lifted off of the ground by Karine, who always seemed to be busy or rushed. The beautiful woman stood up and stopped Karine from leaving. "Excuse me, are you this little girl's mother?"

"I'm her foster mother, you got a problem?"

Olivia flipped up her badge. "Yeah, NYPD, Detective Olivia Benson, this little girl has been unattended now for thirty minutes. Not to mention it's almost 50 degrees out here. She should be wearing a coat."

"Listen, lady, when I left the house the sun was shining and the weather was warm. I been sitting right there the whole time. The kid was fine. She's a smart kid. She can handle herself."

"She's only a toddler."

"If you got a problem, take it up with child services, but I can assure you that all of my children are clean and cared for."

"We'll see about that."

Karin took me away as I watched Olivia fade from my view. I could see that she was as torn as I was. And somehow, I knew it wasn't the last time we'd meet.

**AN: Ok, let me know what the general consensus is.**


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